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Why is it that relationships can be so complicated?

On Wednesday night, Pastor Jonathan said: “a hungry need is a dangerous need.”

  • What does this mean?
  • What can we learn from this when it comes to relationships?



In the story of the woman at the well, Jesus is talking to a woman that tried to find her identity in her relationships.  He said to her,

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  – John 4:13

What is dangerous about looking to someone else to complete you or make you feel whole?


When we look to someone else to fill up the emptiness inside of us, what does it do to the other person? What does it ultimately do to the relationship?


What are your thoughts on this statement: “If you try to find intimacy with another person before doing the hard work of achieving a sense of identity on your own in Christ, all your relationships will become a painful attempt to complete yourself.”


Flip the script:  What will happen to you if you date people that are not complete in Christ?


Make it personal


Finish these statements and discuss with each other your answers.

  • When I am not in a relationship I feel _________________
  • If I have a few evenings with no one to hang out with or talk to I feel ________________


In every relationship, there are two people.  We think a lot about “finding the one.” Why do we also need to focus on “being the one?”


We bring our problems, shortcomings, and past into a relationship. What are some things you should deal with personally so that you can have a healthy relationship in your future?

What are your biggest concerns when it comes to dating?